Abuse is the fear of anyone who has ever had to put a loved one into an assisted living institution, whether it be a nursing home, a retirement community, or a medical treatment center. We know that no one else can deliver the same quality care that we can, but for whatever reason, we don’t have a choice.

So how do you locate a nursing home where you know that your loved one will be obedient?

First of all, research, research, research! The Internet is a bountiful source of information when learning the quality of businesses and organizations. Check out the Better Business Bureau, the Federal Trade Commission, and the Attorney General webpages to look for complaints or unresolved disputes. Check Internet forums focusing on this type of information, and read articles from newspapers and other sources. You can also try RipOffReport.com, which is a consumer advocacy website dedicated to the complaints and testimonials of customers world wide.

Talk to friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and people you meet on the street. Acquire out if they have ever looked for a nursing home, and ask what they discovered. Nine times out of ten, if they had placed someone in a nursing home before, they will have multitudes of stories and anecdotes about the places that impressed them and the places that stunned them. Listen carefully, because their experience could be yours.

After you’ve gathered your background information, schedule interviews with the staff of every nursing home on your list. Request personal tours of the cafeteria, bedrooms, bathrooms, accepted rooms, offices, and grounds so that you can inspect the level of care.

What to witness for:

- Cleanliness. Are the bathrooms cleaned? Are the floors swept? Has anyone bothered to vacuum the carpets? If the staff doesn’t bother to clean, then they probably won’t care to observe after their patients, either.
- Smiling faces. You want your loved one in an environment when they are happy to stay. If the patients and staff look angry, sad, or noncommittal, then it is probably not a healthy atmosphere.
- Kindness. Do members of the staff take the extra step to make you comfortable? Were you offered coffee? A place to sit? The congeniality that the staff shows you will probably be equal to that they show their patients.
- Décor. You really should never assume a book by its screen, but you should also not let the distinct escape you. People who care effect an effort to create an attractive environment. Don’t pains if there are no crystal chandeliers, but look for artwork, photographs, and a sense of home.

The staff member with whom you meet should allocate necessary time to insist with you at length, so don’t anguish about hurrying the interview. Sit down with a staff member and a list of questions, and go through them point by point. Don’t ever settle for vague, unrealistic answers; use your intuition to judge whether or not you are being given the entire, truthful story.

Ask about meal plans, recreational activities, medical assistance, and the level of care given to patients. If your loved one has special needs that must be met, ask how they plan to meet those needs, and if there are any instances in which those needs might represent a problem. Ask about medical personnel on staff, and how medication is administered. If your loved one takes his or her pills at three o’clock in the afternoon, can the medical staff meet that obligation?

After the interview, collect any information they provide for visitors – brochures, flyers, booklets, or folders – and let them know that you will be in touch. Never create any agreements immediately following the interview, because first impressions are often altered when thought about at length. Take time to visit all of the homes on your list before narrowing down the options; you never know what you may find somewhere else. This is a decision that should never be taken lightly, and your loved one deserves the knowledge that you searched to the best of your ability. It is also acceptable to ask for the phone numbers of references – past clients who can give you a satisfaction report.

After you have visited all of the homes on your list, sit down with another family member and go over what you have learned. Perform any last-minute research that will aid in your decision, including the references you collected at various homes.

Finally, make an informed, educated decision based on what you have discovered. After your loved one is placed in the home, make regular visits at different times to make sure that they are receiving adequate care. Never be shy about asking questions, and feel free to call the staff if you have any concerns.

This can be a difficult decision, and a laborious task involving copious amounts of research and visiting. But in the end, you will rest better knowing that you put forth the extra distress in ensuring the safety and security of your loved one.